Recently an event happened in my family that changed the dynamics of it. My Oldest Daughter moved out to go and live with her boyfriend. Obviously things had to change at home. One of the changes was the chores. No longer did we have four people to do the chores now its only 3. Dinner Proportions don’t need to be as much as we had. Children arguing with each other has halted. Now Mom and Dad automatically know who did it. A extra room in the house that must be filled with something. Furniture rearranged to accommodate the bedroom that had to be filled which is now an office.
Of course before we could make it an office we had to strip wallpaper (remnants from the owners before) Plug holes in the walls, Sand, Paint, and cleaning all had to be done. Then you have to figure out the layout of the room. Where desk will sit, printers, file cabinets, and etc. Shutting down of home networks to move servers and computers into their new home. Rerunning network cables to connect computers back to the network / internet. Then adjusting to the new order of the house.
All of this is done to fill the void that was once occupied. While the office will create more room, especially in a congested bedroom, The void is still very noticeable. We look forward to our children growing up and moving out on their own creating their own family’s when they are at home living with us. Then something profoundly devastating happens. They do it. Not only are the family dynamics changed so is your life changed.
You hope that you taught them all the things they will need. Of course you hope that they actually listened. You pray that they will be ok. And you hope and pray and hope more that they do not make the same mistakes as you made while at the same time not to make worse ones either. Hoping they will keep in touch either by calling or texting. That you will be able to see them on holidays. Trying your best not to “interfere” in their lives.
Christmas is just around the corner. Kids got out of school for a 3 week vacation. Our oldest will celebrate Christmas with us this Tuesday. Christmas is Sunday. And While I look forward to the youngest one ripping open her gifts and I look forward to going to church on Christmas day. I know its not going to be the same and because of that I loath the idea of it coming. Not the idea of Christmas just the idea that it will not be the same. The void will be there unmistakable, and undeniable. Now we must learn to accept the changes that have been layed upon us. To fill the void by reorganizing our lives. To accept the things we cannot control.