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A Tough Decision.

I’ve for months been pondering a tough decision about what to do about my mother. Her health is failing and she is scheduled for surgery after the new year. Looking at what is the most feasible thing to do I have decided that I will move to New Orleans to be where I can take care of my Mom. I will be leaving behind a Good Job, some Good Friends, and Family. I will be going into the unknown and it is both exciting and scary at the same time.  As of this writing it is still unclear exactly how I am getting there but there will be a way. I will make my move sometime by mid January.

I lived in New Orleans before and not very far from where I’ll be living when I get there. I feel like there are a lot of opportunities for me there and I also feel I’m more ready to accept them. I grasp this opportunity with a smile on my face. I do not expect it to be easy as nothing worth ever getting is. I just have a good feeling about it.

I will miss everyone I am parting ways with. For some of us we have been through a lot and others well we at least have shared a laugh. My Dad and my Step mom I will miss the most. It’s nice having your family in the same town with you. I will certainly miss coming over to visit with them. God has blessed me with so many people whom care for me. Friends, Church Family, and Others. I will miss my co-workers. They have been my work family for the last 6 years. They have worked beside me, we have laughed together, we got things done. We get crap from everyone and take it and move on. I can only hope to get half as good as a work family as I will be leaving. I give you all my Respect.

God has a funny way of doing things and I have to admit I don’t always like his methods. I love his results but the methods hmm. I take him with me and hope you keep him with you. No matter how good or bad your life is going we all need to look up and be thankful. Someone always has it worse and sometimes even better.

The worst thing about this whole move is that no matter how it goes I am going to loose two of the most important members of my family. Dakota and Daisy My dogs. The landlord is against me bringing them so I have to give them up to a good home. Dakota is a malteese and Daisy is a Papyon. They are both loving animals and they have loved me unconditionally for the past few years that I have had them.

I do look forward to seeing some familiar face’s and places though. Getting to eat my favorite foods in the world. And least we forget one of the biggest party’s in the world the Mardi Gras. All and all the History is what I really look forward to.

Being both excited and scared I can say that I’m keeping a positive attitude about it all. Yes I’m very sad I will be loosing my two best friends but I just feel God has a purpose for this and its really just up to me to let go so that I can get what he has planned which is probably so much more rewarding than anything I can think of.

Just remember when a truly tough decision comes your way to always take your time (when applicable) to make the best informed decision you can. Thank you all for sharing this part of my life with me. God Bless.

Where is your heart?

Sorry its been a while since my last post. I’ve been busy with life and when I’m not I’ve been lazy and that laziness has prevented me from keeping up with this blog. That is the only thing I’ll apologize for with this post. The rest of this post is going to speak truth. That truth some may not be ready for. So proceed at your own risk. Today I have been struggling with Who and What I say I am. I announce that I believe in God and that I am a follower of God. I am vocal about being a “Christian”. I don’t care if someone accepts that fact about who I am or not.

Being a Christian, I am part of a Small Group that I love. I have not only been blessed with a wonderful family but a wonderful set of friends as well. When I see them at church my heart beats just a little bit stronger. They have given to me so much more than they will possibly ever know. But, is it all real to me? Am I being the man God want’s me to be? Or am I living a facade?

God has really pulled my heart strings today with some very basic thoughts that have made me question everything. I woke up this morning about usual time for me 3:30. I got on the computer went into the android forums and ended up helping someone out. Nothing unusual for me on a Sunday morning. During this time God placed a provocative thought in to my head. The though is based around the question Why do you go to Church? Before I went and laid back down around 6:00 I remember saying to myself that I go to learn how to be who I am supposed to be. When I got up an hour later to start getting ready for Church the question was still there. I had thought I had a good answer however God wanted me to really get it.

On the way to Church I thought about the question more and where I fit into the Church. I serve when I’m able / available to. I participate in Group, I smile at people and tell them good morning. Heck I’m already feeling better and loving the intelligence God has given to me. I get to church and God lets things rest a little however, the question is still burning. Then I get a message that really just drives the question from the brain straight to the heart. One part of the message that God had drove my heart inside out on was the fact that He is the Great I am and there is nothing else.

Don’t get me wrong I always have known that you do not place other gods before God, however it really just didn’t sit like it did today. What really made it sit was a better and clearer understanding of what sin is. Sin is separating God from your life. Sin is determining that something else is more important than God. Don’t know about your walk but mine just took a stumble of biblical proportions (pun intended). I love God and want him to be in my life and it doesn’t mean he takes a back burner to anything. I struggle to give my tithe but ask that he bless it and use it to enhance his kingdom. Learning to die to my wants to get this or pay on that is a life time commitment that must be renewed every pay day. Honoring him with my first fruits is a hard thing to consistently do. I then have to look at the church and how they have helped hinder my thinking. Not that the church set out to do so just in the focus of what they have had to do since people stopped going to church. The church needs to finance it’s independence and help support God’s Kingdom. God’s Kingdom doesn’t need money but the money is needed to reach those who are not given the same opportunity as many of us are given. The Church has pushed “ten percent” unfortunately many people associate the “10 percent” as what they are to contribute on every aspect of “Christianity”

We go on the perception that well because I went to church Sunday I have placed God in my life. Or because I gave some time to help with this ministry or that ministry, we have “added” God into our life’s. The problem here is many people will never get beyond this type of thinking. Most Churches will not think to encourage going beyond that kind of thinking because it has become a custom to which most Churches live.

Jesus came and changed perceptions. He challenged the thinking and the lifestyles of the leaders, followers, and everyday common people. The rich and the poor. He wanted us to really understand what it was to follow God. When we look at his life we see what it means. Most of us though, do not really understand what it means so we end up living a facade and thinking that its real. But God doesn’t want what we think, he wants us to think how he wants. You see,when we look at the life of Jesus and that of the remaining eleven apostles we then start to get a picture of what God wants. Jesus gave one hundred percent. Not ten, not fifty, not even ninety nine point nine percent but One Hundred Percent. That is what God wants from us. That is what he Expects. To follow God does not mean sitting in a chair or a pew it means giving up everything else for his greater good. When the first church started after Jesus they understood this fact and they gave all they had to God and he multiplied their numbers daily. What an awesome time that would have been to live in.

As I was coming home today I remember just reflecting on the thought that it means giving God 100 percent of me. Where do I stand now? How does this information change my perspective? Most importantly is How will I use this information to align my heart with Gods heart. Do I continue to walk this out in my life or just give up? Me I decided to share the insight God has blessed me with. Can I give God 100 percent. I do not know. I know I want to and I know that I should and I need to but honestly I don’t know that I will leave this earth having given God One Hundred Percent. What I do know is that God loves me One Hundred Percent and has forgiven me not being able to give him the same. I know I want to have God incorporated into my life. I’m still struggling with inviting him into my finances. So my prayer is for me to learn how to give him what he is deserving of. Because God deserves 100% from us all not the measly little ten that we struggle to give. Thank you God for Loving me with 100% help me to love as you love. May God not be something you do but someone you love and praise.